Right when I catch the pattern, things change. I used to think change was no problem, but even as I type this, I can feel my pulse start to go faster. Excuse me a moment while I deep breathe...still breathing...okay, tension in my head is easing. About the C word: in the middle of Dec, my daughter and I traded roles. Not like in the movie Freaky Friday; as in, we have a Christmas play we perform every year and I've been playing the silly elf Tinsel and she's been playing Evergreen, the uptight, busy one that has lists for everything and just does everything her-elf instead of getting help. Hm. Which one sounds more like me? The only reason I've been Tinsel for so long is because that's the character who gets most of the help from the audience throughout the show. When my daughter started performing with me, she was a little young for being in charge of an audience. We switched roles this year. It was a great show, better than it has been! She was so enthusiastic and playful as Tinsel, and I had a blast as Evergreen, adding some uptight physical comedy that made the audience laugh. It brought new energy to an old show. So - Face the change! Shake it up! Try something different and the pulse be darned!
To paraphrase John Stuart Mill: The person who never tries what he cannot do, never discovers what he can.
(Actual quote: "The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do, never does what he can do." John Stuart Mill.)